In November of 1985 I was in a car accident. I was hit by a drunk driver. At the time of the accident I had no idea that I was pregnant. When I found out, I remember being afraid to tell my parents. At that particular time in my life I was living with the father of the baby. Which my parents were not too happy about. I had stopped going to the Catholic church shortly after high school in 1982. Then I just basically stopped going altogether.

I had basically told God to get in the backseat because I wanted to be the driver in my life. I was 22 years old and I thought I had all the answers. I felt ashamed. I felt alone. My relationship with the father was not a healthy relationship and so I felt the only answer to my so called, “problem” was to have an abortion. I was very selfish in my thinking. I wasn’t thinking of the baby that was beginning her life inside of my womb.

On January 13, 1986 I had an abortion. A decision that I would come to regret for the rest of my life.
There has not been one day that has gone by since my abortion that I have not thought about my child. What she would have looked like? I will never hear her call me “mom” for the first time. I will never see her take her first steps. My parents have one less grandchild to love. With one selfish decision I changed the course of my family tree forever. And for what? Did it make my life better? No. In fact things got worse. I became very depressed and many times I thought of committing suicide. Although, I never shared this information with anybody close to me. Six months after my abortion I married the father thinking I was going to right a wrong. They say statistically that relationships fall apart with the father after a woman has an abortion. Mine certainly did for many reasons. It was not a marriage with a solid Christian foundation. The marriage ended in divorce after almost 3 years and then I went through the painful experience of an annulment process.

I have had many experiences of healing through God's infinite love and mercy over the years. Some of those healing moments have come about through my music ministry. Sharing with other women the pain of having an abortion. There is nothing I can do to bring my daughter back. I can’t change what I did but God can turn something negative into something positive for His glory. This I believe.

It was shortly after I finally had the courage to tell my mother that I had had an abortion that she had a dream that I had a little girl. So I named her Elizabeth and I asked God for confirmation. God has confirmed this many times over the years. Since my music ministry started in 1990 with my conversion back to the Catholic church by way of the Blessed Mother I have had many moments of healing.

The first one was through the sacrament of reconciliation. Two years after my abortion after returning to the church I knew that if I wanted to come back to the fullness of my Catholic faith I had to go to confession. I was so afraid. I was afraid that I would be rejected by the priest and sent away. But that is not what Jesus does in the sacrament of reconciliation. This is where His mercy flows through the gift that has been given to the priest. It is not the priest who forgives. It is Jesus. And this would be just the beginning of the healing process for me. I remember being in the confessional for over an hour and the tears would not stop flowing. I was so sorry for what I had done. After, I felt the weight of this sin lifted from my shoulders. I felt forgiven and free from the bondage of this sin. No longer did I have to listen to the enemy tell me that God did not love me anymore for what I had done. Jesus paid the price on the cross and He wrapped his loving arms around me that day in the confessional. I was a new person in Christ.

Some years later I went on a retreat for women who have had abortions. It was an incredible weekend of healing. You see, even though I knew that God forgave me for the sin, a mother never forgets her child. Her due date was August 13th. So every August 13th I think of her and especially on January 13th. These dates are still difficult for me sometimes. It is only with God’s grace that I have been able to heal over the years.

The other healing experiences have happened after sharing my testimony in concert or as a speaker. Over the years there would be young girls that would come up to me after a concert and compliment my singing or just give me a hug. Sometimes they would be the same age as my daughter would have been. When I would ask them what their name was they would say, “Elizabeth”. This has happened on many occasions.

The song "Whispers From Heaven" is an aborted child speaking to her mother from heaven. It is a gift from my daughter. The words were written by a nun and I wrote the music. The words were handed to me on a prayer card many years ago after a Pro-life concert I had done in Virginia. I had tucked the card away in my purse and one day after a Divine Mercy conference I was singing at, the prayer card fell onto the ground out of my purse when I was trying to find my keys. I finally read the words. It was as if I was hearing my daughters voice for the first time speaking to me from heaven. I just happen to have my guitar with me so I sat down because a melody was playing in my head. I wrote the music in about 10 minutes right there on the side walk.

One time I was speaking at a Magnifcat breakfast for women and after giving my testimony this pregnant woman came up to me and told me that this was her and her husband’s fourth child. She was contemplating having an abortion for financial reasons but after hearing my testimony she knew that she couldn’t go through with it and that was not the answer. We both cried and I gave her a big hug. Praise God! One baby saved!

I believe with all my heart that this song is my daughters way of being a part of my ministry. I love her so much. One day I look forward to meeting her in heaven. This song has brought healing to many women who regret having an abortion. This is my ministry. To tell others about God's mercy and forgiveness. It is never too late for God’s mercy.

This song and the CD are available at itunes. The name of the album is, “Whispers From Heaven”